Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
