They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
