good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Everything about him screamed your future.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
we should paint friendship bongs
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