we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
