What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
