Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
