Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
