but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
