Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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