my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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