K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize