Dual....:-)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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