Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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