So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
