your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm so fucking centered right now
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize