Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
