FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
