his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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