my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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