I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
