I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
How does it feel to date your dad?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
