Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
