if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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