Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He had one of those small greek statue penises
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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