College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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