I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
