I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
