windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
