She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
