her vagine was all disorganized.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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