Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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