Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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