youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
