he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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