would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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