it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
