non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
