hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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