we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
