you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
why didn't you poke me back
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
