You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
