Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
