This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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