woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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