..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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