u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
