I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
