she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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