she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
