The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I currently don't understand fingers.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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