On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
