I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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