similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
