i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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