I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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