:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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