We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
