yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
