You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize