Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
