Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
