He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
All I want is dick and wine.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
