I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize