btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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